Especially in today’s narcissistic and self-centered world, who still admits when they are wrong? It is so much easier to justify our behaviors or say the result “was not our intent”, but in reality, we all have fault, and transgress against other people, unless of course you are Jesus Christ. Assuming you are not (Jesus has other things to do than read our blog), there will come a day, possibly multiple, when YOU will be forced to admit YOU messed up, and or have a problem. Bad employees and managers keep their issues bottled up inside, or hidden in your closet. They hope no knows their faults but that is also the downside; no one is able to help you fix it, stay accountable, and reconcile with those you wronged. In The Church and The Community, Page 130, there is an account of how a good person benefited from reconciling their issues with other people, publicly. Are you brave enough to do so?
It has been 17 years since terrorists crashed two planes into the World Trade Center in New York, but many adults in my generation, remember it like it was yesterday. We recall vivid details of where we were, what we were doing, and why our country subsequently went to war against Islamic Terrorists in the Middle East. We will also never forget the heroism of the first responders, the sacrifices they made, and the emotional trauma that haunts many of them, to this day. I personally made the decision. Sadly though, there is new generation that was not alive, does not know, and does not feel the threat of terrorism. They might have a friend or relative who joined the military in the aftermath of 9-11, but without witnessing the terrorism and heroism yourself, it is all too easy to forget. In The Church and The Community, Page 105, I wrote about 9-11… may it be a legacy and reminder to all those who read.
When the planting or senior pastor leaves a Church, whether for good reasons or bad, the membership painfully feels the effects. The same happens when a founder decides to part ways with the company he built, and if an outgoing Chief Executive Officer is unable, or unwilling, to help the oncoming, the transition is rarely smooth. Add in the concept of the “source” (https://medium.com/maptio/taking-over-from-a-founder-ceo-why-it-goes-wrong-and-how-to-get-it-right-c424e7821f37) and it is no wonder why most organizations tank in the aftermath of losing their head person. The board and employees and members thought they would be able to easily keep the operation afloat… of course they did. The best leaders lead so well, they make their job look easy. In The Church and The Community, Page 79, there is the story of a church that crumbled after their Senior Pastor stepped down from leadership. I encourage you to read it, and educate yourself on the complexities of high level transitions, BEFORE you find yourself considering or dealing with one.
Once upon a time, friends and family were allowed to see things differently. Mom could be a vegetarian and Dad a meat eater, but the children would not realize their parents had conflicting dietary preferences. Differences were hardly talked about. Then came empowerment; passions and secrets burst out of their closets. People began to share why they believe and act the way they do, which helped many people not feel alone. For a long time, it was okay to disagree. Now we live in an age where to be a vegetarian in a meat eating family is to turn your back on your upbringing, and disown your relatives. Why? We have become so selfish and self righteous, it is no longer okay to agree to disagree. In the preface of The Church and The Community, I prophesied that friends would disagree with how I journaled their intersections with my life, and would leave me for it. Sadness and loneliness aside, let us bring back the days of old! It’s okay to agree to disagree.