A. Chapters 7-9, Adversity

Chapters 7-9

Lies And Misdeeds Cannot Hide Forever – JLD

If you are up to date on American politics and news, you might know that the walls are closing in on President Donald Trump, and his previous attorney Michael Cohen. Once upon a time Cohen said he would take a bullet for Trump, indicating a high level of loyalty, but what happens when the person you are trying to protect, purposefully and willfully walks into a line of fire? In this case, you might find yourself in the same situation that Cohen admitted to; making incorrect or dishonest statements, to be consistent with the person to which you are loyal. Cohen eventually plead guilty to lying, but it started with misguided loyalty. In The Church and The Community, Page 178, I wrote about a well meaning person who like Cohen, tried to protect a person they were loyal to. The end result was not good for either of them. Let us not do things that necessitate lying, and may we never be dishonest.

Strength Finders Assessment – JLD

You can spend an inordinate amount of time and resources working to improve upon your opportunities… would it not be more logical to figure out what you naturally do well, and then work to do it better? Take penguins for example; they are not built to walk quickly or efficiently. If a predator were to attack a penguin, no amount of training or preparation would equip the animal to escape the danger better than if said time was spent in the water. Penguins are built for swimming, not running. Have you identified your natural gifts and abilities? In The Church and The Community, Page 181, I shared my top 5 of 34 talents. I am strategic, an achiever, competitive, command oriented, and seek significance. If you are unfamiliar with your top strengths, I implore your to take Gallup’s Strength Finders Assessment. There is no point focusing on jogging, or trying to run faster, if you are a penguin.

Can You Ever Really Trust People – JLD

The answer is probably no. Maybe you heard the mantra “you have to earn my trust”? Well sadly, this is usually code for the person having been hurt in the past, and wanting you to prove trustworthiness. It makes sense, and is logical, but it is not right to force people through the lens of your past hurts and hang ups. Further, you run the risk of living a life alone, or one with very few friends, because you project past issues on present people. Thankfully, I have had the pleasure of developing many great friendships, from people who have gauged whether or not to trust me, based on my present actions. I wrote about one such friend, Benjamin, in The Church and The Community, Page 135. And with this, I encourage you; if you find yourself struggling to trust people, deeply consider why, then do your best to forgive or reconcile the issues of your past. Only then can you enjoy deep friendships, as do I.

Reconciling Issues With Each Other – JLD

Especially in today’s narcissistic and self-centered world, who still admits when they are wrong? It is so much easier to justify our behaviors or say the result “was not our intent”, but in reality, we all have fault, and transgress against other people, unless of course you are Jesus Christ. Assuming you are not (Jesus has other things to do than read our blog), there will come a day, possibly multiple, when YOU will be forced to admit YOU messed up, and or have a problem. Bad employees and managers keep their issues bottled up inside, or hidden in your closet. They hope no knows their faults but that is also the downside; no one is able to help you fix it, stay accountable, and reconcile with those you wronged. In The Church and The Community, Page 130, there is an account of how a good person benefited from reconciling their issues with other people, publicly. Are you brave enough to do so?

When Friends or Family Turn On You – JLD

Whether from adversity, distance, lack of time, misunderstandings, or sh*t hitting the proverbial fan, relationships often come to an impasse. You would think all your friends and family would find a way to overcome, but in reality, only the true ones will. A few months back, a close relative randomly told me to never contact their family again… she would not answer my inquires to why. A good friend in the church recently got offended about something and gossiped to others the reason why they hate me (and would leave the church). Then it hit me, as I discussed in The Church and The Community, Page 178, how quickly friends and family cut off those they once loved and respected, or maybe never did at all. Only your true friends and family, will never turn on you, no matter what life throws their way. Lastly, know that God will always be there for you, and this author (Jonathan Dade, USN Veteran) will do the best he can.

Complaining Against Employers and Bosses – JLD

I do not know why people do it; murmur or complain about their employer. Most jobs are voluntary, meaning you can turn in your resignation at any moment. Just go online, find the perfect company, and make the transition. Oh, that’s right; we feel it is our duty to solve the problem(s) before leaving. Well gossiping with fellow employees is hardly solving any problem, rather making them. And you know that worker who always praises the company? They are not doing that to look good. It is called strategy to be agreeable with the organization that pays you, which in turn motivates them to move you up the ranks. Finally, it rarely ends well for the constantly complaining employee, so stop it. The Church and The Community, Page 130 tells a detailed account of how it ends for the complainer, the employer, and all those involved. Dare to read it?

The Widespread Prevalence of Dishonesty – JLD

Long, long ago, in a land far, far away, a man’s word was his bond. That means if you said “I will be back tomorrow”, come hell or high water, you would make good on that promise. Now and days though, there is a myriad of things that might cause our words to not reflect our actions, or more importantly, the truth. Maybe comfort (or maturity) does not encourage someone to admit their intentions are contrary to their spoken words. There could also be the issue of personal gain, where few people perceive a benefit from admitting a painful (but true) narrative. It is all the same; people lie, and they do it all the time. Humans are hardwired to do what is easy or convenient, not difficult or honest, so it is prudent to fact check periodically. In the The Church and The Community, Page 148, I shared a story of lying even after the truth is presented… how will you decrease dishonest in our society?

The Hypocrisy of “Illegal Immigration” – JLD

Once again, America is divided and neither “side” is willing to compromise. The left feels migrant families should not be separated at the border, and that our immigration policies foster racism. The right believes illegal immigrants should not be granted special privileges or pardons, especially when some migrants bring crime and drugs along with them. How hypocritical and uncompassionate we Americans have become! European colonists (whites) stole land from the Native Americans, brought diseases that decimated the indigenous people, and then leveraged slave labor to build this “great country”. And now we want to close our borders to non-whites? In The Church and The Community, Page 163, I wrote about how immigration control will not solve our problems. We need to admit our shortcomings, love our neighbors, and make it easier for people to immigrate here, as did our ancestors.

Cult Dynamics And The Complicity of Silence – JLD

The moment you discover a good friend has committed an injustice, you figuratively stand at a crossroads. This is synonymous to the instance wherein you realize a previously good affiliation or organization to which you belong, no longer operates honorably. Having invested a lot of time, resources, or emotion into the path you are on does not motivate you in selecting another, but at some point, silence and association is complicity. What do you want to be known for, or associated with… will you be strong enough to disavow what is wrong? Most people would rather not change their habits, rock the boat, lose good friends, or go against the grain. Most would be like those in Nazi Germany who just “went along with it”. In The Church and The Community, Page 158, I discuss the importance leaving cults and immoral establishments. I also teach how you to do it. Do not be silent. Act. Now.

Complaining Against Your Boss and Employer – JLD

Instead of being grateful for employment, mindful of the company culture, and respectful to the leaders, expressing dissatisfaction, with everything, is the current trend. Yes you can support your manager and reflect on the good things… disparaging your boss and proclaiming why you are dissatisfied, is apparently more chic. Then you conclude you could do it better. A few customers and coworkers follow your entrepreneurial endeavors as you start you own organization. Karma hits, and now it is you dealing with ungrateful, disrespectful, and constantly complaining employees; they leave after a while, taking customers and employees with them. You realize it is best to internalize the values and beliefs of your leaders, and manifest that in everything you do, or quietly go start your own organization. The Church and The Community, Page 129, tells this story, and includes real names.